New Horror Short Story: “The Ice Cream Man”

There once was a man. This man was worried about children. Children with bad mommies and daddies. This man was a scientist, a biochemist. But all day as he worked, he worried, There were children out there with bad mommies and daddies. If only his science could do something to help them.

“Stop daydreaming,” said Dr. Onus. “Get back to work. That tardigrade DNA isn’t going to sequence itself.” 

Can you say, “tardigrade”?

But the man couldn’t stop worrying. If he could stop even one child from being hurt, he would do just about anything. Because he knew what bad mommies and daddies were like. He knew very well. 

One day, when Dr. Onus wasn’t watching, the man took some of his work home with him. You see, he had an idea. The tardigrade was a very small creature, but it was very strong. Almost nothing could hurt a tardigrade. Not fire, not ice, not even radiation.

Can you say, “radiation”?

Dr. Onus never knew, but the man was very smart. Very, very smart. And he used what he learned about the tardigrade to create something. Something brand new. Something that could help children. Help keep them safe. Safe from everything, even bad mommies and daddies.

The next day he stayed home. He called Dr. Onus on the phone and said he was sick, but he wasn’t sick. He was inspired. He had created a serum. A potion, really. Something that would give children a little tardigrade DNA. 

Can you say, “inspired”?

He never went back to work. Instead, he took all the money he had and bought an ice cream van. He filled it with all the best ice creams. And he filled all the ice creams with his new serum. He would use his science to protect children from bad mommies and daddies. 

He knew it would work, because he had tested it. He had found a child, a child with a bad mommy and daddy, and taken him home to his lab in the basement, and given the child ice cream. The child had grown strong and maybe a little gray. The child was very, very safe from bad mommies and daddies. And even though the child bit the man, he didn’t shout, or hit the child. And when the experiment was over and he used the ether, he chuckled to himself about how he would be saving so many children from so many mommies and daddies. 

Can you say, “ether”?

On the first day with the new van, the man sold twenty ice creams. He tried to give them away at first, but suspicious mommies and daddies wouldn’t let their children have free ice creams. So he sold them for a nickel, and sold them and sold them, and the little children ate the ice creams.

If a mommy or daddy ate the ice cream, they became very sick. The ice cream was only for children. To keep them safe. And if they bit their mommies and daddies, well, that was okay, wasn’t it? Because after all, they were bad mommies and bad daddies. Every single one of them. They had it coming.

Can you say, “karma”?

And so the man – the Ice Cream Man – traveled in his special van selling his special ice creams, all over town. He laughed and jumped in pride over how much good he did. Proud, yes, like no one was ever proud of him. He was saving so many children, and so many bad mommies and daddies were getting what they deserved.

Some of the children were so smart, so special, they made games, once they turned gray and their teeth grew sharp. Mommy Piñata was a good game. They used sticks for that game, but other games used balls. Or knives. Or ropes.

Can you say, “piñata”?

The Ice Cream Man was very happy. Very, very happy. And he even visited the street where Dr. Onus lived, and made sure to sell some special ice cream to his daughter, a little girl named Alice. She was a very smart girl, and invented some very smart games with the neighborhood children. She even used some of Dr. Onus’s special doctor tools, and made pretty pictures with what came out of mommy and daddy. 

And they were safe. They were all safe. And the van rolled on and on, and the speaker tinkled “Turkey in the Straw” and “Für Elise” and the children laughed and laughed and laughed. And the Ice Cream Man decided that maybe children in other towns should be safe, too. 

Can you say, “spree”?

Coming Events · Here Comes the Weirdo Parade · Podcast · weirdo

June 1 Update

Can’t believe it’s June! Only JUST finished up second edition of 𝑬𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏 𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝑷𝒊𝒏𝒆 and sent it to print, and started layout for 𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅. A bit behind. 1st full ep of 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒆𝒊𝒓𝒅𝒐 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒆 is out, to good reviews (about 30 views/listens so far). Next one featuring The “Great” Demonio on Monday. 𝑷𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒐𝒏 patrons have already seen it. Upcoming eps are very exciting.

For books and writing, 𝑰𝒎𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 is chugging along, 𝑭𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒚 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝑭𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 has its first illustration sketches from Daniel Milco, and the musical play 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 is starting to take shape (VERY early days!). Most likely after PW comes out I’ll work on re-release and expansion of 𝑪𝒉𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝑺𝒖𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝑰𝑰 while working on IC and the cozy mystery I was working on when ‘Rona shut down my writing circuits.

Doing some work with Mynheras now, too!

Theatrically, I plan to bring Gonzo Rising to the theater this summer, as well as a return of 𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝑺𝒍𝒂𝒎 and 𝑳𝒆 𝑭𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒉. And most likely a return to 𝑵𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑫𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒑𝒆𝒔 in October. And some séances, too, mustn’t forget Liar’s Seance! And possibly a new winter show?

Continuing work with Kiki Cabaret SLC of course, and supporting such shows as Love Yourself! A BTS themed Burlesque Show coming up!

All while somehow, magically, keeping my time parceled out so I have enough downtime to not be constantly skirting burnout. Which, you know, means a lower paycheck, as almost none of these things is making me any money (for now). But pretty okay with how things are going.

As long as I keep up with my mental health regimen. Which I am doing pretty well with.

NEEEED to get back to Maine soon, though. If only I could keep some money in savings without, you know, needing new TEETH or something.

[Could seriously use some organization support and social media management support. Might be time to hire an assistant.]

Hm, need an image for the algorithm…how about screenshots of the first page of a google vanity search?

Google search for Scix Maddix, with many, many links
Coming Events · Here Comes the Weirdo Parade · Podcast · weirdo

Here Comes the Weirdo Parade

This new Podcast is coming to YouTube and everywhere fine podcasts are found!

Scix brings weirdos aboard to discuss the power of weirdness, the challenges and fun of being a weirdo in our society. Weirdo in this case is a badge of honor! Anyone who is marginalized, outsider, artistic or dreaming can be called a weirdo, for any silly reason. Those of us who embrace the moniker tend to band together.

The first episode airs May 30 (2022) and features the Whistling Swans, a weirdo enby folk duo that’s won the hearts of the Gonzo Rising crowd!

We are the
The outsiders,
the edge cases,
the marginalized,
the artists,
the dreamers.
We are part of
what makes life
worth living.
And we deserve
a damned

Reference Letter

I needed a reference letter for a grant application that I wound up not using. Derek wrote me such a nice one I thought I’d share it:

To whom it may concern: 

It is my pleasure to be writing to you on behalf of Scott (Scix) Maddix. I cannot even begin to express how much I would recommend this incredible human being for anything and everything! For almost a decade, they have been influencing my life in a great myriad of positive ways. 

To begin, their reliability and steadfast work-ethic are something to behold and be admired. From moment one, on any project, Scix moves forward with nothing but passion and commitment. They have a wonderful knack for adapting to high-stress and high-octane situations, and have an exceptional ability to maintain concise communication and operational skills.

I first got the privilege of getting to know Scix at Fear Factory Haunted House in Salt Lake City, Utah. Initially, we worked alongside one another as performers in the show, and from the get-go, they demonstrated their problem-solving, and coaching skills. As the years went on, and we worked as fellow leadership, Scix became the director of our various training programs we have at Fear Factory, with astounding success. Fear Factory has quickly grown into one of the top haunted-attractions and seasonal productions in the entire world, and I strongly believe that Scix was essential in that progressive growth. Several individuals, including myself, have greatly benefited from Scix’s instruction and mentorship. 

They also greatly excel in the field of show and event production, with the additional skills to handle the business logistics of both. On many occasions, I have personally witnessed them pulling off triumphant productions and events that have had a lasting impact on several neglected corners of the theatrical community. 

I am passionately compelling you to strongly consider Scix for any project, and in any capacity. Thank you!


Derek Green

Long-Time Colleague of Scott “Scix” Maddix